help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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