i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
