Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize