btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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