It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize