And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
