Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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