Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
