oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
