'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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