I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
