Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
