we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He shit in the fireplace
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
