You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
