dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
