I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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