Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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