great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
