Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize