just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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