My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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