According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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