just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
