Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
