The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
