This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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