Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
