I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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