So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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