youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
