She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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