dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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