my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So apparently I’m into choking now
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
