Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Don't tell me you're on acid again
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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