Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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