I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
