everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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