Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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