What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
