Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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