Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
