i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
birth control should be required to get into college
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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