just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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