I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
