I hate your face
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
