based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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