After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
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