Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize