Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
