im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
