And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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