I need help removing her.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I have tasted many bathrooms
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
