Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
