operation harelip BJ is a go
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
