During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i dont even know how to be here
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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