so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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