if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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