Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
