Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
